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HOWDY, GENE! — Former Newhall Land CEO Tom Lee, his bride Colleen and a small entourage of Newhall’s fab Who’s Who were honored guests at the recent Gene Autry Birthday gala down at his museum in Glendale on Oct. 1st. Autry had planned to build his epic museum in Placerita Canyon back in the 1960s. But, a big fire that destroyed more than 20,000 acres and almost leveled the movie studio and set gave him second thought. Plus, his wife didn’t like navigating amongst the thistles and wanted it closer to civilization.

HOWDY, BUCK! — We bumped into congressman Buck McKeon and HIS lovely wife, Pat, the other night coming out of the Brad Pitt baseball flick, “Moneyball.” Darn good movie. Go see it.

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BUCK MIGHT GET A KICK OUT OF THIS ONE, BUT WE’RE BETTING HE WON’T PUBLICLY
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 ADMIT IT — So a youthful SClarita senior last winter was eating lunch on the 20th of February with his 7 year-old granddaughter. He asked her: “What day is tomorrow?” She replied: “It’s President’s Day!” Smart kid. The SCV grandparent asked: “What does President’s Day mean?” He was waiting for something about Washington or Lincoln, yada yada. She replied, “President’s Day is when President Obama steps out of the White House. If he sees his shadow, we have one more year of unemployment.”

THIS IS FOR DEENA, OVER AT THE SPECTRUM CLUB — So an attractive trainer over at the tony Spectrum Health & Fitness Center in Valencia was approached by an elderly man who wanted some tips on getting in shape. He asked: “I want to impress that beautiful girl across the gym. Which machine should I use?” The trainer replied: “Try the ATM machine outside the gym.”

RE: THE ABOVE — Ba-doom boomp.

IN THE SPIRIT OF HALLOWEEN — How do you mend a broken pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch.

IN THE SPIRIT OF HALLOWEEN, PART II — I want to die while asleep like my grandfather,?Not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car.

IN THE SPIRIT OF HALLOWEEN, PART III — I like cats too.? Let’s exchange recipes.

IN THE SPIRIT OF HALLOWEEN, PART IV — I may be schizophrenic. ?But at least I have each other.

IN THE SPIRIT OF HALLOWEEN, PART V — I’m not your type. ?I’m not inflatable.

OK. STOP IT. IT’S WAY TOO EARLY — The lovely and talented Barbara Myler pointed out that they ALREADY ARE SELLING CHRISTMAS DECORATIONS at WalMart. Geez…

YOU ?KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2011 SANTA CLARITA WHEN —

1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave. ???

2. You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in years. ???

3. You have a list ?of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of ?three.

4. You e-mail and text the person who works at the desk next to you. ??

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don’t have e-mail or text addresses. ???

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries…

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen ???

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn’t even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it. ???

9. You awake in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee. ????

10. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )  

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AH-BLAH! AH-BLAH!! — Whatever you do this month, do make sure you check out Dracula at Canyon Theatre Guild. Noted local thespians Eric Muhl (Dracula) and Tom Kopacka (Van Helsing) star in this classic horror tale. Show runs Friday evenings at 8 p.m. Oct. 21 & 28; Saturday evenings at 8 p.m. Oct. 1, 8, 15, 22, 29; Sunday matinees at 2 p.m. Oct. 9, 16. Tickets are $12 for juniors and seniors, $15 Adults. Give a jingle to 661.799.2702 for tickets or information. Mastercard and VISA are accepted.

WHO’S SLEEPING WITH WHOM — The Count has it on good authority that the following happily married couples are actually sleeping together: Elizabeth (Bank of Santa Clarita) & Steve Hopp; Roger & Lina Seaver (CEO -HMNMH); Diana Vose & Ernest Guaderrama (HMNMH Foundation); Debbie & John Heyes (Heyes Plumbing); Ann & Rick Patterson; and, Pauline & Duane Harte.

THE RECORD IS ALIVE — Seems like our local SCV rainfall record will keep on going. According to various spies, we did have precipitation in August. It certainly rained a little in September. So, our record of it raining every month since 2009 keeps going. Hope it isn’t a dry October after all that…