2012-08-13·westranchbeacon.com · WordPress (West Ranch Beacon)·Wayback capture

Commentary: Sex in a Community Pool. What’s happened to local Parenting?

By admin

Dave Bossert Family Local Opinion Santa Clarita Valley

I’ve been still catching up since taking a few weeks off in July. I have been reading a lot and looking back at what I might have missed during my travels. While reading some odds and ends I came across one small bit that connected with some other observations. It made me wonder what some parents are doing to their children.

Several weeks ago I went to see the new Batman movie at the local theater with a friend. We got there early, as we always do, and found some good seats where we promptly chatted and caught up before the movie began. While we were speaking, a couple came in with an infant carrier and sat down at one end of the row from us. An infant!!

I turned to my friend and said that was child abuse. It is! I found it completely inexcusable, irresponsible and abusive to take infants to excessively loud and violent films. The parents appeared to be clueless; self absorbed idiots that were clueless to the well-being of their child.

Please don’t write to me with some sob story that maybe the parents couldn’t afford a babysitter or some other flimsy excuse. This type of poor parenting is happening everywhere across the country if not the world. Some people are just not fit to be parents.

Getting back to that small piece of local news that triggered this column; it was from the once mighty local paper and the headline was ‘Couple Charged with alleged Pool Sex’. It detailed how on a Friday afternoon a woman complained to the Sheriff about a couple “engaging in intercourse” in a community swimming pool. Sex in a public swimming pool!

After an investigation Sheriff Deputies arrested a 20 year old Stevenson Ranch woman named Chanel Angelique Barrit and her apparent boyfriend Zachary Leon Knoles also 20 from Los Angeles. They are both being charged with indecent exposure and illegally entering a dwelling.

It can’t help think about how this young lady/man was raised. Was she/he from a home that had self-absorbed parents that were more interested in themselves then their child? Did these parents not instill any kind of self-respect, values, or a moral compass in their child?

I ask these questions, because as a parent, I speak with my children on a regular basis; conversations about many topics. I speak with my children, not over them or at them, but with them. But nearly on a daily basis I observe local parents doing anything but; this is why some of the local children are disrespectful little brats.

Unfortunately those parents will get a wake-up call one day when their child is arrested or worse. We read about arrests or fatal accidents nearly on a weekly basis involving teens and young adults. It all boils down to choices those children make and that is based on the way they were raised by their parents. Street racing; sex in public; drug use; vandalism; theft; these are all choices that are made based on how a child is raised.

It’s time that some of these parents stop making excuses and start to take personal responsibility for how they raise their children.

Dave Bossert- Commentary

Dave Bossert is a community volunteer who serves on a number of boards and councils. His commentaries represent his own opinions and not necessarily the views of any organization he may be affiliated with or those of the West Ranch Beacon.

Comments

11 · as published

August 13, 2012 – Daily Brief | SCVTalk.com
August 13, 2012 – Daily Brief | SCVTalk.com Says: August 13th, 2012 at 6:33 am [...] Bossert terribly upset about the sex in community pool story from earlier this summer. “I can’t help think about how this young lady was raised. Was she from a home that had self-absorbed parents that were more interested in themselves then their child? Did these parents not instill any kind of self-respect, values, or a moral compass in their child?” No words of condemnation for the young man? WRB [...]
Jay T
Jay T Says: August 13th, 2012 at 7:19 am Mr. Bossert, based on this article I’m guessing you have kids that are around 10 or 12 years old. The sentiment you express is not uncommon among parents with young kids, who sometimes humbly, and sometimes not so humbly, take the credit for how well behaved their 4th grader is or what a good student or athlete she is. As kids get older you’ll see that children are not like cars that if driven well always perform well. They are human beings with their own DNA and personalities. I can’t tell you how many good families I know with kids in their late teens and early 20′s that did everything “right” and have 2 or 3 “great” kids and one kid that breaks the rules. Other friends with older kids talk about how many of those that were challenging during that age settled down in their late 20′s and are now model citizens. Good parenting is always critical. But the assumption that good parenting always equals good choices or that bad choices always stems from bad parenting simply doesn’t hold as young children grow into young adults. Some well raised kids make bad choices, are predisposed towards addiction, or simply get caught. Sometimes they don’t get it right until their late 20′s, and some don’t ever get it right. Good parenting means never giving up, always staying engaged, and recognizing that becoming a good adult is a decades long process and that mistakes made in your early 20′s don’t dictate your future success or that you were raised by parents who didn’t care or didn’t in many cases do the right things.
admin
admin Says: August 13th, 2012 at 7:34 am Thank you for your comments. I have a 13 year old and a 21 year old. Both good students and well behaved. My 21 year old has been on the dean’s list for academic achievement every year at BU. Much of how children turn out is directly connected to how they have been raised especially in the early years. Barring mental illness, children grow up largely based on how well their parents are at parenting.
Remoman
Remoman Says: August 13th, 2012 at 8:10 am The response by readers seems to be that kids will do what they want. I do not think this is true and agree with the editor. As an example, take Del Prado Condominiums. For the many years I have lived in this area, it has been well managed and kept up (and seems to be so now, as well as they possibly can) and there WERE caring residents. That seems to have changed with the economy. Many of the caring residents are gone being replaced with renters that have no interest in maintaining the place. At one point, a unit either rented or inherited was being used to sell drugs. The sheriffs were there often until they left and it has sat vacant for over a year. Within the last few weeks, something terrible has been occurring there. The pool, accessed through a locked and card keyed clubhouse has been closed several times, twice in the last week alone, after finding human feces in the pool. The association has now hired a young man to act as a guard but he cannot be there at all hours. I have seen him turn away tenants that do not have access to the pool because the realtor-owner has paid their association dues. It was closed again yesterday. I would not be surprised if one of those excluded tenants sought retribution. Does anyone who has a financial intrest in the condos would allow his kids to act so badly? I think not, if only for their own economic self preservation. Many renters are seldom there because of multiple jobs just to pay the rent. It is sad but many parents just do not have the time to parent and have never been taught how by their parents.
Remoman
Remoman Says: August 13th, 2012 at 8:12 am I wish to correct: I have seen him turn away tenants that do not have access to the pool because the realtor-owner NOT has paid their association dues.
Valerie
Valerie Says: August 13th, 2012 at 9:44 am “It can’t help think about how this young lady was raised. Was she from a home that had self-absorbed parents that were more interested in themselves then their child? Did these parents not instill any kind of self-respect, values, or a moral compass in their child?” What misogynistic garbage. She’s an ADULT and capable of making her own decisions. And last I checked, she was having sex with an ADULT male of the same age. No judgement for him? Is that young man not also lacking in self-respect, values and a moral compass? Or is this a case of “Boys will be boys”? Pull your head out of 1953.
admin
admin Says: August 13th, 2012 at 10:45 am Actually I was commenting on the young lady because because she lived locally it also applies to the young man. Based on your angry tone you seem to have missed the point of the commentary. My head is not in 1953, it is firmly in 2012 and having sex in a public pool in full view of anyone still lacks in decorum and decency.
Jay T
Jay T Says: August 14th, 2012 at 6:48 am “Barring mental illness, children grow up largely based on how well their parents are at parenting.” Is simply untrue. I know many great adults who had lousy parents.
admin
admin Says: August 14th, 2012 at 7:02 am So it’s not true because you “know many great adults who had lousy parents.” I’ll take the same path and just say that there are many more great adults who had great parents. It all starts at home and those that didn’t have great parents likely had an adult role model that helped them; a coach, teacher or someone who was a good “parent” figure.
Ann
Ann Says: August 15th, 2012 at 9:35 pm Wow…thank you, sir, for your judgement. My God can now kick back since you know the full story and have it all handled. What a relief.
admin
admin Says: August 15th, 2012 at 9:41 pm No judgement, just observations and opinions. The ultimate judgement is not in my hands…nor yours!!