I’ve said it before. It sure is comforting that time is relative because it’s almost November. The most important election in at least the last 100 years is around the corner and 2012 sure feels like it’s slipping away. A good cure for clock watching is to go backwards in time, I always say. This morning, we’ve got a pretty interesting trailride into yesteryear. We’ve got everything from local saber-tooth tigers to touchtone phones and tidbits inbetween.

We’ve got far too many suicides, maybe the most horrendous train accident in our history and easily the strangest death in local scouting history.

On the bright side, there’s gold mines to uncover and while some Democrats are somehow trying to equate bondage to binders in 2012, there’s a humorous look at how they used to chain up the women at Bermite. Well. I found it humorous, but then, I’m a bit tweaked.

C’mon, saddlepals. Make that Western clicking noise and offer up a quiet but enthusiastic, “Giddyup.”

(Photo Caption — As the valley grows and time erodes memories, few will remember one of the most splendiferous souls not just of the SCV, but of anywhere. On October 26, 1992, Scott Newhall died. I still have his picture looking over my shoulder. That picture of the dancing couple? That’s Scott and his equally legendary wife, Ruth, former Signal editor. It was taken in San Francisco, 1953. In part, who I am today was formed by Scott and his family. I can think of no one who lived a more exciting life on a day-to-day basis. His legendary editorials scorched scoundrels, politicians and kings and made him one of America’s most famous newspapermen. He was editor of The San Francisco Chronicle, but most locally knew him as the heart of The Signal, back when it was mighty, for a quarter of a century. Tomorrow, two decades back, Scott Newhall, former editor, publisher and “proprietor” of The Mighty Signal, made his transition to another reality. Scott somehow managed to squish 50 lifetimes into one and his exploits were legendary. He rides with us every week so let’s all turn back in our saddles and all tip our hats toward the most splendiferous rascal. I am a wealthy man for knowing you…)

WAY, WAY BACK WHEN —

––––––– A giant saber-tooth tiger curled up in a fetal ball and took its last breath. Its complete skeleton was found tens of thousands of years later in the 1920s at Fat Jones’s ranch near Calgrove.

––––––– Life moved at a quieter pace.

OCTOBER 25, 1922 —

––––––– Every September for as long as we can remember, there has been a Catholic Barbecue in September. Before there was the church on Lyons, the Catholics gathered across the street from Maria’s Deli on Lyons in October for their big fest. Back in the 1920s, the fest was called the Catholic Bazaar.

––––––– The Santa Ana winds kicked up pretty good, blowing off roofs and separating branches from trees. A gust hit Mr. Goodknight’s huge radio tower pole and blew it into kindling.

OCTOBER 25, 1932 —

––––––– It was an odd coincidence for so small a town. On this date, two of Newhall’s citizens died of poisoning. There was a 2-year-old who swallowed lineament and iodine and a woman who committed suicide at the old Green River Service Station in Weldon Canyon (the Old Road today). She was reported to be despondent over finances.

––––––– We’ll have to check the sofa for loose gold nuggets next time one of the Veluzats stands up. They’ve got their place up Haskell Canyon. That region was abuzz with gold mining in the 1930s. There were several mining sites in the area, including one run by the Ethel Mining Company. Business must have been good. They had 27 full-time employees.

––––––– Spare the rod, spoil the mayor’s cousin. On this date, Holmes Maclay of Newhall had an argument with a kid who kept pounding the 72-year-old man’s house with a stick. Maclay went out and slapped the child. The child told his mom. The mom told the cops. Holmes took an ancient cap-&-ball pistol, went to his back yard and blew his brains out. His cousin was the mayor of San Fernando and Maclay Street is still one of the major thoroughfares.

––––––– The New Era School of Saugus had 35 pupils. They almost had 33. Howard Taber and Richard Wilson played hooky one day to go bear hunting in the local hills. New Era used to be way up Bouquet Canyon.

––––––– Another barn. Another hay fire. Mr. Persons, who owned the old Teague Ranch northwest of Newhall, was the victim of spontaneous combustion. Several tons of stacked alfalfa ignited in the hot October sun. A few small brush fires around the barn were put out but the hay fire went on for two days before it burned itself out.

OCTOBER 25, 1942 —

––––––– The Signal jokingly referred to several women around town as “Sob Sisters.” Actually, the gals made an excellent point. In the early days of World War II, women were asked to recycle cooking grease for the war effort (it was used for munitions and lubrication). They were also asked to donate nylons. The gals pointed out that they couldn’t donate kitchen grease because bacon, sausage and the like were being rationed so they couldn’t save grease from meat they didn’t have. As for nylons, many of them claimed to have been walking about bare-legged for the previous 18 months.

––––––– I remember my good saddlepal, Andy Martin, shared that during WWII, the lady bomb makers at Bermite were literally chained to their job. Many workers were nailed to the floor. It was to form a ground so they wouldn’t make sparks while fiddling with high explosives.

OCTOBER 25, 1952 —

––––––– I don’t think I’d ever muster this kind of will power. On this date, Sylvester Zell tried to kill himself. Twice. Despondent over an impending divorce, Sylvester borrowed a neighbor’s .22 caliber rifle. He placed the business end against his rib cage and fired. Finding himself not dead, he got up, picked up the rifle again, moved it two inches above the first entry wound and fired again. He was taken to hospital where he was listed in stable but not critical condition. A few months earlier, he had taken a bottle full of sleeping pills and survived. Bad shot. Tough but depressed guy…

OCTOBER 25, 1962 —

––––––– On this date, The Signal endorsed Richard M. Nixon for governor. If memory serves me well, I think Tricky Dicky lost…

––––––– Death visited scout leader Roger Cagle in the form of a freak accident — right in front of his horrified troop. The scouts were on a campout up Bouquet Canyon. Cagle was sitting at the base of a hill when a steel cable snapped, freeing a 300-pound empty wooden cable spool. The huge wheel rolled down the hill, gained momentum and crushed the 23-year-old with the force of a steamroller.

––––––– Three youths were arrested for robbing the old Markuson Laundromat on San Fernando Road. What gave the gang away was when they went to the Saugus Cafe and tried to exchange $230 in coin for bills.

OCTOBER 25, 1972 —

––––––– A practical joke got by the proofreaders of the local phone book. There was a listing for: “Monte Cristo No 1 U.S. Government Forest Service Agent; Call Operator for Monte Cristo No. 1.”

––––––– Signal gossip columnist Ruth Newhall noted the vanguard of new technology invading the Santa Clarita Valley — a device called the touch-tone phone. Mimi, as she went by for all those years, noted they were slowly replacing all the dialing models and not only that, if you had a musical ear, you could play songs on the keypads.

––––––– One of the more horrific train vs. car collisions occurred on this date. A pregnant mother with four children stalled her station wagon on the tracks along upper Soledad Canyon. Nine months pregnant, she got out of the car and frantically tried to wave the train to stop, but was crushed between the locomotive and car as the wreckage slid for 100 feet. The four children escaped with slight injuries from the crushed car. A nearby witness ran to help. Her children were screaming: “Our mama, our mama! She’s going to have a baby!” The witness pulled the children from the wreckage, then guided them away from their dead mother and the unborn infant sibling they would never know.

OCTOBER 25, 1982 —

––––––– From the small galaxy department, many of you remember Steven Spielberg’s classic movie, “E.T.” You know. The lovable little big-eyed spaceman who lands in suburbia? The movie creature was partially created and operated by a Canyon Country man, Robert Avila. Bob was my neighbor when we were little kids in Chatsworth…

––––––– Speaking of show biz, the underground black comedy, “Eating Raoul,” was filmed in Valencia.

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Thanks again for sharing the history trail with me, saddlepals. May I invite you along for another ride next Thursday? Appreciate it. See you back here under the warming glow of The SCV Beacon. Until next week, take good care and vayan con Dios, amigos!

With 119 major writing awards, John Boston has been noted as one of America’s top humorists and political satirists. Look for his major monster boffo new multimedia international news, humor and entertainment website coming real darn soon now! It’s sort of like the old Escape, on mega-steroids.