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Good thing we can monkey with this time warp continuum. You know, with all this 21st century lifestyle pressure, what say we just disappear into yesteryear for a bit and refresh ourselves? Speaking of monkey, there’s the passing of a local ape icon and a lynch-mob headed up Pico. We’ve got a hero puppy and one of the most bizarre self-perforating incidents I’ve ever come across. C’mon. Let’s hop in our respective saddles and disappear before anyone catches us… 

WAY, WAY BACK WHEN —

— The Castaic Post Office reopened on April 3, 1917, in Sam Parson’s general store. It had been closed for about 20 years because nobody was sending letters to Castaic and nobody was getting any.

— On April 4, 1893, a major earthquake rattled the Santa Clarita Valley. It was centered in Pico Canyon. A contingent (mob) of residents reportedly marched up to Pico, blaming all the oil drilling for the quake.

— The very first judge of the SCV was not John Powell, as has been written in a few historical treatises. The very first judicial election here was in 1873 — three years before Newhall or Saugus were founded. J.H. Turner was elected by three — counted them — three votes. Don’t know if that was worst case voter apathy or no one could get to the polls. Er, poll. No one ran against him (would that be something if someone did and lost by 3-2?) and he held office until 1882. By then, an E. Bonticue defeated him at the polls, 52-24. 

APRIL 1, 1920 —

— Check out this front page news item from The Formerly Mighty Signal 80 years ago: “Mr. & Mrs. E.E. Kidder of Placerita spent the day in the city last week.” Can you imagine if offered that kind of in-depth coverage today in the year 2010? It’d be a long list…               

— Local newspaper editor Blanche Brown noted that several Newhallians were “imbued with the picnic spirit” and dined by the flowing banks of the Santa Clara.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    APRIL 1, 1930 —

— On this date, Dick Lindsey buried his monkey. That’s not some of historical euphemism. Mr. Lindsey actually owned an actual monkey. The little fella went everywhere with the truck driver. He (the mini-ape, not Dick) died of tuberculosis.

— Earlier this week we had some big guests of wind causing havoc. Eighty years back on this date, we had a big Santa Ana blow throwing, lifting off roofs and awnings. Before they were called Santa Anas, the big gusts were called “Prairie Whirlwinds” by the locals.

APRIL 1, 1940 —

— We had a nice little April rain. It kept the dust down on the roads quite nicely and the crops and cattle said thank you. 

APRIL 1, 1950 —

— Wildwood Canyon is today one of the valley’s tonier enclaves. But a half-century back, they had two garbage dumps there. Bennett Murray turned two oil field sludges into garbage pits.

— Teen Paul Wasson on this date fell off his Mint Canyon roof while shooting toys with a rifle. Before hitting earth, he managed to shoot himself through the foot. I think this was the most creative self-inflicted gunshot wound I’ve discovered to this date.

APRIL 1, 1960 —

— A two-year-old toddler had his life saved by the family dog on this date, 40 years back. Little Kirk Simmons was about to pick up an interesting little rattle in his back yard when his small dog interrupted. The pup got between Kirk and the deadly snake. The parents, hearing the barking, rushed to the back yard just to see the dog getting bit on the lip. They rushed the dog to the vet, but we never found out if the puppy made it.

APRIL 2, 1970 — 

— Two Newhall boys were playing in a cave they had dug out of the side of the sandy bluff above Newhall wash. It caved in, burying both. One escaped. The other died.

— You time riders might remember from weeks past about the Val Verde woman Ida Williams who had her house, ahem, accidentally bulldozed by the county. The elderly grandmother was forced to live in a Boy Scout tent. Our supervisor, Warren Dorn, got into action, announcing the county would build her a brand new home. Newhall Land and Farming also kindly donated replace the old home with a better one.

— The School Rescue Committee reached the halfway point of 1,700 signatures on their ballot to recall the entire Hart School Board. Many locals were unhappy with the board for what they perceived was heavy-handedness and dictatorial measures. 

APRIL 1, 1980 —                                                                                                     

— Here’s a real life hospital joke. Wayne Johnson sat down at the emergency room of Henry Mayo Hospital. He picked up a copy of Sports Illustrated and thought that maybe his illness was causing him a sense of disorientation because nothing looked familiar within the pages. Then, Johnson looked at the SI date. It was from June of 1974 — 11 months before the hospital opened and six years dated by 1980. 

Don’t forget the City’s big annual and internationally famous Cowboy Fest is at the end of the month at Melody Ranch. Call 259-CITY for more info or visit cowboyfest.org. See you saddlepals right back here at the West Ranch Beacon with another exciting Time Ranger adventure. And until then, vayan con Dios, amigos! 

Catch John Boston’s new book, “Honey. I Never Slept With Sarah Palin”  at his booksigning at the Cowboy Fest at month’s end. And listen to his Former Friends of John Boston on KHTS, local AM-1220 Mondays at 2 p.m.